What You Are To What You Were

The little girl inside of me
Begs for her brother.
The woman inside of me
Begs for her lover.
How can I show myself
That he was never supposed to be brother
Only lover
He raised me, loved me, protected me,
Though not of same blood.
Now comes the time for one to leave
Or lose what the hold dear.
How can I chose between the boy I know as brother,
And the man I desire for lover?
I was not raised to think him brother,
He was the one who watched over me.
He protected the little girl from the nightmares
That haunt you in your sleep
He was the one who wrapped me into a protective cocoon,
And sealed it up so tight,
Never to let me out of his sight.
He knew me as his lover even as a child,
Never let me get so close as to say the word brother.
But to a baby, you do not understand,
All I know is he was there as I grew,
Nearly my age,
Playing and laughing with me,
Till the day came when he left
And I watched him walked away.
Now he has come back
And he desires to hold me closer than close can be.
He desires to wrap me up in his arms,
And pull me completely into his existence as he already is in mine.
I saw him come back,
And my heart screamed his name.
But did it scream with longing for the brother I had,
Or the lover he could be?
Please listen to my plea,
You have always been there when I needed you most,
Always loved me when I was bad,
Always cared for me with a soothing hand.
Brother you are not,
For I know if you were,
I would have these feelings,
And I would not want you so bad.
Lover you are,
As you always have been.
I love just as much now,
As I did back then.
Please hold me again closer than close can be,
And please take away the sting of the bee.
I love you so much my lover.
That words cannot explain.
With you by my side,
I am no longer in pain.
Thank you for coming back,
When I had given up hope,
Thought you had forgotten me,
And never dared to dream and wish you would come back.
Here you are my love,
And I will never let you leave me again.

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