Sorrow Unknown

The past brings experience,
But not always wisdom.
I have lived many things,
Done more than most,
Lived my life to the fullest of my abilities.
But I have never been happy.

Does happiness exist?
Is it there for me to find?
Why have I never been happy?
Some experiences do not allow for happiness.
Some bring a sardonic tone to life.
My life has shaped me,
Brought me sorrow.
The path of happiness is not for me.
My life is meant to prevent the pain I have felt.

Have I destroyed my own life?
Is it my fault that one found me to sardonic to love?
Is it that sadness in me that turned his love to hate?
Am I the reason he left?
And ripped my heart out as he walked away?

Though I know itís over,
And that he will never come back,
I canít stop the memories from creeping in,
To pierce the night,
And make me remember all of the love I had inside.
I loved him with everything I have.
I loved him more than I can ever say.
I would have laid my life down,
And given it for his any day.

That time has passed.
I have moved on.
Maybe one day,
I will find peace within myself.
And the sorrow that I feel,
Will be nothing but a distant memory.
Nothing can change the past,
But maybe my future wonít be so bleak.
If love is meant for me,
Then I will find it when the time is right.

I must lay down my past,
And forget all that has happened.
It wasnít meant for me.
I must shape my own life,
Live it as I see fit.
Maybe one day,
I will be complete.

But what do I do until then?

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