The Pain Of Losing You

You have told me no.
You have told me good-bye.
My pride has killed everything I ever wanted,
My pride has hurt everything I dearly love.
You are right to tell me no.
Because I know that it will happen again.
And I know that you don't want that,
Do you?
I am wrong,
I admit it.
It isn't something I can deny.
I hold you inside of me now,
Just as I always have.
I keep you tucked inside of my heart,
Wrapped, surrounded inside of my love.
I don't know what else I can do,
But tell you how much I love you.
I know at this point in time,
Those words probably mean little to you.
But they are the truest ones I have ever spoken,
And cannot deny.
I ran, I fled, I still couldn't leave.
I came back, ready to face your wrath at me.
I had to let you know, I had to see if I could,
I needed to know that you still loved me,
Just as I have always loved you.
I was right, you really did.
You took me back, though should have thrown me away.
I deserve to live in the misery I caused myself that day.
I was never angry at you, I just did something so wrong,
I took it out on you. I hate myself for the pain I caused,
Hate myself for the price that was paid.
I was so wrong, I will never again deny,
I ran from you once, and found myself wanting you back.
This is the first time I have ever wanted one back,
This is the first time I have ever cared enough to say it.
You are all I want in life, the rest is secondary.
You are the dream I want, you are the dream I need to see filled.
Though I know it won't happen, not any time soon.
I brought this on myself,
I know I deserve whatever may come.
The road ahead is rocky, jagged, uncut.
I cannot see past the hardships that lie ahead,
To see if anything good is coming through my way.
I know it will not be for a while,
I know I will not have anything nice and easy.
My life is not meant to be easy and free.
So why do you stay tied to me?
Why do you still care for me?
All I am to you is heartache, and break.
I am not the girl you thought me to be,
Thought I try to love you no matter what comes our way.
You are the only thing I love in this world,
The only thing I love at all.
I can't do without you in my life,
That is why I came back to you, to see if everything we had was gone.
I sill love you, just as I always will.
Please say you still love me too.
Please say that one day we can be together forever,
And never have to let each other go.
Because I can't do this again,
I can't feel this pain again.
It killed me inside, stomped me dead.
The pain of losing you was the death of me,
And I came back, never to feel it again.
This is how much I love you, I can't let you go.
Throw me to the wolves if you will,
But at least you will know,
How much I truly do love you.

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