Once Was Found And Now Is Lost

What once was found now is lost,
What I once thought I had,
Has turned tail and fled,
And left me with an empty hole.
What has claimed to love me,
Now thinks nothing much of me.
“Friend” he calls me,
Though “friend” I am not.
To have given my love,
To have given my heart,
To have opened up completely
Only to be crushed,
Only to be broken.
How sad I am.
How pathetic.
How worthless.
What has called me beautiful
Has now seen me as ugly.
What has called me intelligent
Has now called me a “stupid bitch”.
And it’s true.
I am stupid.
Stupid for caring…
Stupid for loving…
Stupid for believing someone could ever love me.
I deserved it.
I dropped my guard.
I let him in,
Only to allow him to hurt me,
As was inevitable.
Everything we love,
Eventually leaves us.
Everything we love,
Eventually turns it’s back the other way.
Because I am just not worth loving.
I am unloveable.
Facts are facts,
And that fact was thrown into my face.
Slapping me full force.
I still feel the sting on my cheek,
On my heart.
Nothing I ever do is good enough.
Nothing ever will be good enough.
I feel the cut on my heart.
One more scar to overlap the many already there.
What’s one more?
What does another matter?
I should be used to it by now,
But the pain still remains.
Always the same,
Though the degree varies,
I feel it all the same.
Some wounds heal faster,
But this one lingers.
There is no separation.
The ties are still there,
Though the status has changed.
It hurts to call you friend,
And hear your voice,
Knowing that it once called me love.
And calls me love no more.
I thought I had found that one love,
One love that would last through the ages
And always be there.
But yet again,
Wrong I was.
And wrong I always will be.
That one love doesn’t exist.
It’s a lie.
What once was found is now lost to me…
Forever in time.

© Copyright 2005 Arcania | All rights reserved
Distribution of any content contained herein is prohibited without express written concent.