Lies Become Truth

You said you wanted me.
You said you loved me.
Said it so often I began to believe,
Believe that you meant it.
Only to find out,
That it wasn’t true.

Coming from the pieces of a broken heart,
You were there,
Begging to be let in,
Begging to know me,
To reach the very depth of me.
When my rational mind screamed at me,
And begged to shut you out;
My heart let you in,
And I began to love you once again.

Now you tell me no,
You can’t handle it.
I do not know if you want me to beg,
Or just walk away.
I chose to turn my back,
Hide my pain,
Lift my head high,
To hide the newest pieces of a broken heart,
And walk away.

I will not beg you,
I will not cry for you,
I will not allow myself to feel this pain,
And break down my walls.
I will never beg to be loved.
If you don’t love me,
That is your choice.
I never asked you to love me.
I never begged you to be with me.
And I will not start now.

To beg for love
Shatters ones dignity.
I will hold my head high,
And deny my broken heart,
Lock it away behind walls so high,
None will ever scale the cliff.
I would rather be alone,
Than deal with this same cycle
For the rest of my life.

I will lock it all away,
Shut out the pain.
Shut down my emotion,
And call them gone for good.
I do not need this pain,
Or the cause of it any longer.

It’s over.
It’s done.
There is no depth
To try and reach anymore.
There is nothing left in me
To care evermore.

An empty shell I have become,
Talking, moving, eating, drinking…
There is nothing,
I am almost a ghost.
I feel not real,
Only an empty shell,
With no seal.

I go through the motions,
I do not care.
I would rather die,
Than have to live this lie.
Why do I have to be here,
As I shake and shatter with the drop of a tear?
A lone diamond falling from the eye;
A sign I am not as I say,
You will never know it,
You have chosen to turn away.

Starring at your back,
Reveals no secrets to you.
Only the sounds of an empty heart,
That will not give you what you seek.
You have turned away from me,
And have locked me out.
Your words are poison,
A lie to me.
I never want to hear them again.
I never want to see you again…
Talk to you again…
I do not think I can deal with you again.

Strong I may be,
But that strength only lasts for so long,
Before the gentle ground beneath gives way,
And plunges me down into the depths of my own pain.
I will not allow it to happen.
I will endure,
If only to watch,
As you try to turn back,
And claim your lies once again.

I listen, hear your words.
But I believe none of them.
You lie, you cheat me,
You try to manipulate me;
Make me dance on your command,
Only for your pleasure.
I will not.
I am not your toy.
I am a person,
And you have no claim to me.
I give you no pleasure of mine.
Leave me be.
Stop trying to tear me apart.
Go away,
I do not need you.
Do not want you.
Want to be left alone.

Don’t touch me.
I shy away from you,
Panic in my eyes…
Go away.
I cower in the corner…
Terror on my face.
I see you coming closer,
I have no where else to run…
I feel you touch me,
The scream only the dead will hear…
You claimed you loved me,
But gentleness is only an illusion,
As you hold me against your body…
Tenderness is only a dream,
As you caress my frozen face…

Your kiss so gentle,
You touch so sweet,
I still deny you…
I do not believe you…
Every time I believe you,
I get hurt.
Not this time.
You will not play with me again.
Go find another to torment,
Leave me be.
I do not want you.
I never did.

I lie.
I know I do.
Everyone does.
I want nothing.
I do not want pain.
I do not want to feel this pain.
I want it to go away.
I want to lose it in the past.
Not with you.

Everything was always a lie…
With us…

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