Emotional Blindness

On the blackest of nights,
I look out at the sky.
The billions of stars,
The endless count of planets.
I start to think.
I close my eyes and all I see is darkness.
I imagine the world my stage.
And the part I play.
My life one big soap opera,
Playing out over the years.
The many people of my life,
Flash before my eyes.
People I once knew.
People I know now.
And the people I hope one day to meet.

The men I will seduce.
Weaving my poisonous web.
Crawling from one to another,
To suck their blood.
The juice of life that gives me strength.
The life force that keeps me going.
How I long to take a taste of you,
And have you swoon.

Maybe one day I will figure it out.
Maybe one day I will give it a thought.
Maybe soon I will know who I am.
Maybe today I will find the courage
To look you in the eyes,
And tell you who I really am.
Then I might actually give a damn.

Who you are,
I shall never know.
I shall never see you.
I shall never get to know you.
Why do I cause this pain?
Why do I call out your name?
It is a hopeless dream,
That shall never be.
The heavens forbid it.
The human race hates it.

Why is my heart plagued with you?
It is a question I shall never know the answer to.
When I look at you,
Your eyes show me despair.
From the longing we both share.
One day I shall know you.
Then you will see,
Just how much you mean to me.

How can I love you?
I do not even know you.
But my heart tells me you are mine.
And I feel you near.
But my life is still bare.
Soon we shall be together as one.
And you will know,
How much I love you.

Where does your heart lie?
Not with me, I tell you!
You do not know.
How I wish I could capture your heart.
It is all I live for.
I shall never accomplish that goal.
Why do I torture myself?
This will never be.
I may as well accept this.
I may as well move on.

You are so dear.
You are so darling.
But I shall never have you.
So I know what I must do.

Never mind your gorgeous head with my affairs.
You do not need to know anyway.
It will happen no matter.
Not a storm, or hurricane,
Nor a command from the king of GODS, himself,
Could stop what I am to do.
And you shall still never know,
Just what I feel for you.

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