April 9, 1979
Cahol and Aodac told me something so totally unbelievable today. I didn’t quite believe them at first. I’m still not sure I believe them now. They said they are vampires. Vampires! The idea is simply preposterous. Who would believe that vampires still exist in this day and age? I laughed at them. What else was I supposed to do? I seriously thought they were putting me on. At least, I thought they were putting me on until they showed me their fangs… then they showed me the room that lay below even the sewers where they slept. I still didn’t believe them. Then they showed me what happens to them when their skin meets the sun. I was completely miffed. I never would have guessed that real life vampires still exist. What are the odds of that?
I questioned them for hours. I couldn't get enough of their stories. They told me some very interesting tidbits of information about their lives. Cahol is over two thousand years old. TWO THOUSAND! I still can’t believe it! Aodac told me he is almost nine hundred. I can just imagine the freedom they have lived with. I can just imagine how they see the world. I am absolutely positive that they wouldn’t have told me what they are if they didn’t want to make me one of them too. I have got to question them some more. I became addicted to their stories this evening. I need to know more.
They are below the city resting now as daylight begins to creep through the windows. By the time they wake up tonight this book will be hidden even better than their secret. No one will ever find it under the floor in that spare room that no one has used in years. Hell, even I wouldn't think to look there if I didn't know that the hollow in the floor existed.
I’m sure that before the year is out I’ll be the new immortal in town. I can already taste it... I have to wonder what immortality will be like. What will it feel like? How long am I going to have to wait before they make me one of them? I'm sure it won't be long. I'm sure they will make me a vampire in the next month or two. I can't wait... Soon... I can feel it… Soon…
April 23, 1979
The stories Cahol and Aodac have been telling me are absolutely fascinating. I find the cultures and life of 2000 years ago utterly amazing! The primitiveness of their lives... It's mind blowing how anyone could have actually lived like that. The simplicity yet complexity of the day to day living and social status and structure... I can't even being to comprehend what it was like to not have the freedoms that people have today. It's simply amazing. Who would have thought that life would have been like that so long ago? If you weren't of "noble" birth then you spent your entire life groveling for whatever the high and mighty "nobles" felt like tossing you. That's such bullshit! How could anyone live like that? Why would anyone live like that?
Aodac told me that he actually knew George Washington. He’s been telling me what it was like to fight with him in the American Revolution to win America’s freedom from the British. What do you really say to that? Aodac actually fought in the American Revolution?! He also told me about several kings that he has known from various countries throughout history, and he told me that he actually was a king in Scotland over 500 years ago.
Cahol told me what it was like for him to grow up in ancient Egypt. He lived near Cairo in his youth and met the vampire that created him outside of Thebes when he was twenty. He told me what it was like for him when he was created and realized that he had to leave his home and his family behind. He said that letting his wife believe he was dead was the worst thing he had ever done and he still regrets it. He told me what it was like to live with the Celts. He told me about their barbaric beliefs and rituals. I still can’t believe this one… He told me what it was like to live with the Vikings! That is just so totally awesome! Cahol said that he was one of the most feared Vikings in the clan he lived with. According to him the tribe he was living with at the time came across the Vikings close to Sweden and when the Vikings attacked them Cahol destroyed most of the tribe. The few that managed to live gave him the crown of command and followed him as their leader when the battle was over. They called him "Deyja Nay", Die Not. Cahol said that he had taken over the entire Viking culture within six months, and he ruled them until the day the entire culture was destroyed.
They have made subtle advances about making me like them as they tell their stories. They are hinting at it more and more everyday. I hope they get to it soon... I am growing impatient to be like them. I want to be immortal, but I can only wait. How long do I have to wait, damnit?
May 12, 1979
Aodac is absolutely and utterly crazy! What is he thinking? He said that he actually hates being immortal. HATES it! He claims that he was turned against his will by some fucking bloodsucking bitch that never gave him a choice. He told me the story of how it happened. He told me about a woman who lived in the forest near his family's village. He told me about getting hurt one day while he was out hunting in that very same forest. He told me that the woman saved his life, and nursed him back to health. He told me about the woman seducing him when he was weak from the physical wounds, and how he wasn’t able to resist her in his weakened state. He told me about how she turned him one night in a fit of passion when he was well enough to leave and tried to go back to his home. I’ll never forget that conversation. Aodac sat there with this blank look in his eyes, as if he were seeing a ghost for the first time... He didn’t move... He didn’t blink... He sat there completely empty... I actually pitied him.
However, now that I have really had time to sit here and thing about it for a while the more unlikely I think his story really is. I am not so sure that I believe it anymore. I think that story was complete bullshit. I think they are trying to tell me that they are having second thoughts about me; I think they are trying to back out of making me a vampire too. They can’t back out. I am going to be immortal! I swear it! I am!
August 9, 1979
What in the world is going on around here? Cahol and Aodac just dumped some half starved little brat in my lap today as they came in from their night of hunting. I don’t get it… They’ve never brought strays or food home with them before. Why would they start now? I just don’t understand why they would bring a little adolescent street viper home with them…? I mean, for what? Entertainment, maybe? Food? Ritual?
Maybe… maybe that’s it. She’s part of some sort of initiation ritual to make me a vampire! I’m going to become a vampire really soon, I can feel it. Possibly even tonight. Yes! They’re finally going to make good on their promise! I’m going to be immortal. I just knew they would turn me!
August 10, 1979
They're not going to make good on that damn promise. I can’t believe this… She’s not part of some initiation ritual! She’s just a girl they found in a dirty back alley huddled up to a fire. I can’t believe this… They said they felt drawn to her in the fact that they feel deep down she’s a special child! What the fuck? She doesn’t look overly special to me. She just looks plain; she looks dull witted and numb... dead, even. What’s so special about that? There’s nothing special about her. The only thing that is even remotely striking in her is the slightly exotic tint to her face. I think they can and do anticipate the beauty in that face! Maybe that’s what they want her for! Maybe they think that she will want to be their carnal companion for eternity. Oh... they claim they won’t make her a vampire. They claim they just want to keep her until they know why they felt so drawn to her. Yeah, right! They want to use her in a few years, when she grows into that face of hers! They want to take the gift from me and give it to her. I won’t let them! It’s mine! It’s not fair! I should be immortal right now! But, NO! They had to go and have second thoughts and then bring home some little orphan girl! What are they thinking? You can get sex anywhere. Why her? What makes her so fucking special?
December 26, 1979
My God! Is this ever going to end? They grow more attached to that brat by the day. I still can't believe how much they spoiled her yesterday. They spent an absolute fortune on her. They bought her everything they could think of that a girl could possibly want. They look absolutely ridiculous fawning over a thirteen year old child. What are they thinking? They act like they’re courting a lover! It’s disgusting! I have been completely phased out since they brought her home a few months ago, and the worst part of it is that I actually have to act like I like the little tramp! It’s sick! It’s repulsive! They have completely forgotten that I even exist. They'll never make me a vampire now... I have to think of a way to make them turn me into a vampire... but how? What can I do that will finally make them turn me into a vampire?
May 2, 1982
Those two lousy sons o' bitches completely spoiled her yesterday. Her birthday has become a thing of torture for me to endure, and yesterday it was even worse because it was her sixteenth! Oh how special, how sweet, how completely SICKENING! I have got to get rid of her to save my own sanity! I am going crazy watching them fawn all over her, and she laps up every bit of attention they give her like a faithful puppy! I can’t bear this much longer…
My God please let me get rid of her, and soon! But, how?! How can I get rid of her when they love her so much? What can I do to make them hate her enough to throw her back out on the streets? What could she ever do to make them hate her? That’s a lost cause if ever there was one… I want them to hate her, but they never could hate her. She can’t do anything wrong. She’s a perfect little angel to them. They are blinded by her. They are blind to what she really is. She’s nothing but a street viper, and she has completely bewitched them… Why? How? I just don’t understand it. They will never turn against that bitch... never...
May 19, 1982
That little bitch is starting to get more and more curious about where Cahol and Aodac go every night. That’s what led to me finding out some years ago. I have asked them if they are planning on telling her what they are and they have both sworn they would never tell her, but she has become quite spoiled in the past three years and I don’t think they are capable of denying her anything if she asks for it. It’s only a matter of time before she follows them the way I did.
They are completely blind to her. They simply won’t listen to me anymore. They will not listen to reason when it comes to her. They see no wrong in her. None! She can’t do anything wrong in their eyes. In the past three years they’ve turned an almost mute child into a spoiled, snotty, manipulative little bitch, and they refuse to see it. Especially Cahol. Oh, he’s the worst! He won’t listen to one word against her. He’s become completely unreasonable. What am I going to do now? What can I do?
May 23, 1982
I can’t believe it! She actually followed them last night! The little bitch actually snuck out of the house and followed Cahol and Aodac last night! My God, she watched them feed! The way they explained it is that she followed them and snuck up on them as they were feeding… they heard footsteps approaching while they were sucking some poor bloke dry and when they looked up there she was. I bet she got eye full last night; she saw the animalistic faces of two vampires feeding. Then she ran.
They’re furious! They thought she would be here when they returned this morning, but she hasn’t come home yet. They’re going to look for her tonight if she hasn’t come back by the time they wake up. I knew this was going to happen! I told them she would do it! I told them she would follow them one night! They just wouldn’t listen. They refused to believe their precious orphan angel would do something like this, but she did. I guess it doesn’t matter how long you live; you can be naive at any age, or just plain hard up.
The worst part of this whole mess is that even after that brat did this, Cahol still won’t listen to a negative word about her; however it surprised me when Aodac came out with plenty of his own. Cahol and Aodac almost came to blows over her tonight. Cahol has completely lost his mind over that girl. He can’t think straight anymore. I can see the lust on his face when he looks at her or touches her. I can see the lust in his eyes when he hugs her at night before she goes to bed. I see it in Aodac’s face to. They both want her. They both desire her.
But... even Aodac got mad at this. Even Aodac could hear and say the things he was thinking. Cahol refused to listen, much less voice what he was thinking about it, and I could tell that he wanted to rant! I could tell how angry he was at her and still is, he just refused to listen to reason. Why won’t he listen to me? I have got to make him listen. I have got to make him see what she really is. It's for his own good, before he drives himself crazy over that little bitch. Then he’ll finally get rid of her, and then he will make me a vampire.
May 26, 1982
God, will this nightmare ever end? They found her. It took them three days, but they found her. Why couldn’t they just leave it alone? Why couldn’t they have just left her alone? It would have solved all of my problems. The bitch is actually in her room right now catching up on her sleep. Boo Hoo... the poor spoiled manipulative little bitch needs to sleep.
When they did finally find her she tried to run from them again. It only took them a moment to actually catch her; in the name of Christ she was actually crying! Boo Hoo... poor baby bitch! She said she didn’t run from them because she was afraid of them. No, no, no… she ran away because she was afraid they would throw her back out on the streets where they found her! She said that she ran while she could hold on to the illusion that they
I have to think of something that will keep them away from her. They might not touch her right now, but neither of them would hesitate one second after she turns eighteen. I’ve got to think of something...
Mmmm… Yes… that could work. I think I might know what I need to do… When the time is right, I can get them to swear her off. I will make her a plague to them… she will be like a slow torture for them, hanging all over them, eating up their every word, and they will never be able to touch her… they could actually grow to resent her for her presence in their lives… I’ll have to swear her off too to make it work, but seriously, like I really want the bitch. I will get them to swear her off and shut her out of their lives forever. That will open the door for me once again. Yes, that just might work. All I have to do I wait for the right time to introduce the idea to them.
January 13, 1984
The time is finally right! I’ve waited almost two years to hammer the final nails into their coffins. I have patiently bided my time for just the right circumstances to come home and harvest the growing anger and resentment they each feel for the other… I have waited for the time to come when they would be fighting over her more than anything else. I can hardly believe that the time has finally come.
They have become completely hostile towards each other. Everything is perfect. They are so consumed with the question of who will finally get her that they’ve completely forgotten I exist. Tonight is the night that I will spring my trap. Tonight will be one of my greatest victories over that little bitch. I will finally take away all of the power she has over those two bumbling morons. I am getting out of this living hell as soon as they make me a vampire. I am going to get away from those two pathetic losers and I am going to rule the entire world!
I can hardly wait to reap the benefits of the bountiful harvest that my patient and careful plotting will bring...
January 14, 1984
Those two morons are so stupid! They fell for every word that I whispered into their ears! I mean, come on… how dumb can you be? How can anyone as old as those two are be so damn gullible? How can they be manipulated so easily? It was like stealing candy from a baby.
I am going to record every word they said so that I can read this entry in the years and centuries to come, and laugh at how easily manipulated those two were.
Last night was our poker night. There we were sitting around the table with the cards in our hands and we were talking about my current nonexistent girlfriend when Cahol and Aodac started arguing over her again… I was completely disgusted with their arguing and I finally threw my cards down on the table and interrupted their bickering.
“Come on guys… What is this?” I screamed at them in disgusted exasperation. “Can’t we even play poker anymore without fighting over Francesca? What in the hell is wrong with us? I mean, are we still brothers or not? Are we going to let a girl destroy our brotherhood so easily?” I asked in a rather demanding voice.
“Of course we’re still brothers!” Cahol said heatedly as he glared at Aodac.
“Damn right we are.” Aodac said in a rough voice as he returned Cahol’s glare.
“Just look at us...” I said with disgust in my voice. “Are we really gonna let Francesca tear us apart like this? Is she really worth destroying our brotherhood over?” I questioned in a silkily croon.
“I suppose we could always just let her pick which one of us she wants.” Aodac said sarcastically.
“Right.” I said with a ring of heavy sarcasm in my voice. “There would still be bad feelings by the losers. How is that going to solve the problem?” I said with heavy disdain in my voice.
“Well… I suppose we could wait it out and eventually we would all have our turn to be with her.” Cahol said slowly.
“What? You mean we should turn her into our own personal whore? That wouldn’t be fair to her, and it wouldn’t be fair to any of us.” I retorted.
“No, you’re right. It wouldn’t be fair to any of us. So what should we do?” Cahol asked in a thoughtful voice.
“There’s only one thing we can do.” I said in a quiet voice. I was ready to spring my trap. “The answer is so simple… all three of us will swear her off forever. None of us will have her.” I said as I feigned disappointment.
“What?” Aodac said in disbelief.
“Are you joking? How does that help anything?” Cahol screamed at me.
“Simple…” I said quietly. “We might be jealous of who she is dating at any given time, we may always want to be with her ourselves… we may always long for her, but we won’t cross that line with her. There won’t be any jealousy between us anymore, because we will all know that we are not alone in our shared suffering for her. We won’t fight over her anymore. We’ll be a brotherhood again.” I coaxed in a voice that rang with sincerity.
“That is so simple… Why didn’t we think of it ourselves?” Aodac said with a sigh of relief in his voice. “You’re absolutely right Adam. That’s exactly what we’ll do.” Aodac said in an exuberant voice.
“Yes. That is exactly what we will do.” said Cahol in a voice that mirrored Aodac’s exuberance.
We all put our hands in and made a solemn oath never to touch that little bitch! Those two are so full of their pompous and self righteous honor that they will never touch her. She has lost all of her power over them. She has nothing left. By my estimate it’s only a matter of time before they kick her out so that they don’t have to be reminded everyday of what they can never have. She will be gone soon and I will be back in the picture.
March 20, 1984
I have finally beaten that bitch at her own game! Cahol has turned distant and cold toward her. He doesn’t even look at her anymore. He barely speaks to her. He barely acknowledges she exists. I love it. Aodac has also distanced himself, but not to the extent that Cahol has gone to. Aodac still crawls around her for the sparse and conditional love she has learned to give them… It’s always just enough attention to make them happy but not enough to keep them that way. She always has to have them crawling around her, shadowing her every move. She always has to have them hanging all over her like monkeys. It’s repulsive to watch. Aodac might still do it, but I have taken Cahol from her. He is beyond her reach anymore. That’s quite an accomplishment, if I do say so myself. I can tell they are already starting to turn the love they have for her into hate. The best part of the entire situation is the fact that she doesn’t know what she did to bring about this sudden change in them. She’s absolutely clueless. Ha Ha Ha.
April 6, 1984
Why me? Why can’t they just get rid of her already? That bitch has started to flirt with Cahol like a wonton whore. She makes open passes at him and suggestive remarks whenever she gets a chance. Aodac has become insanely jealous over it and he tries to rush her away from Cahol every time she comes within 300 feet of him. She’s playing one off the other, the little slut, and from what I hear she has started begging Aodac to make her a vampire. I hate her.
I never thought I would see the day when one of them would refuse her anything, but Aodac has flat our refused to make her a vampire. I have nothing to fear of Cahol making her a vampire… from what I can see in Cahol’s present mental state toward her, I doubt he would look at her twice much less give her my gift! I have to find some way to get rid of her. But, how?! Damn it, how?
May 1, 1984
For the first time since they brought that little bitch into the house they aren’t making a big deal out of her birthday. It’s still hard for me to believe that for the first time in five years I haven't had to plaster a smile on my face and endure the endless stream of presents, and the following fashion show of watching her parade around in all of the new outfits they bought her. I haven't had to endure the music, the dancing, and everything else they usually do on her fucking birthday. They haven’t done much of anything other than say the words to acknowledge it. For the first time in five years her birthday was just another day. She’s loosing the battle for their attention. She is losing the battle for their love and I love it.
I still haven’t been able to figure out what I can do about her, or how I can get rid of her. I would be the happiest man on the planet if I could just figure out a way to be rid of her forever! I just know that once she’s gone they will finally make me a vampire and I will have everything I want. It’s her fault I’m still human. I will hate her forever because of it.
September 29, 1984
My prayers have finally been answered! God has finally seen fit to bless me! They kicked her out last night! She is gone forever! There is no way they will ever bring her back into the house after what she did! They are so mad at her; I don’t know how they kept from killing her last night… I still can’t believe it!
She actually had the gall to bring a guy home with her last night. She was in her room with him when Cahol and Aodac returned from their hunting. Aodac caught them screwing each other when he went up to say good night to her. Aodac threw ten kinds of a fit. I’ll never get the visions of what I saw last night out of my head. He ripped the boy apart limb for limb in a fit of rage; he tried to kill her… he slapped her… he screamed at her… he almost killed her. Cahol and I went up to find out what was going on. That’s when I saw what Aodac had done to the boy that was with her. Aodac was on top of her, chocking her. She was blue. It was all Cahol could do to get him off of her before he killed her. Aodac was livid; he called her a common slut that flaunted her disrespect of their love in front of them. He screamed at her to get out of his sight. Then Cahol opened his mouth and reamed her out even worse than that.
Then they turned on me… They screamed at me for allowing that boy into the house with her. I denied any knowledge of what she had done. I denied knowing that he was here with her. I let them believe that she had snuck the guy in all on her own. Cahol and Aodac wouldn't listen to her as she screamed at them… begged them to listen to her when she said that I had allowed him to come in, and that I had allowed the boy into her room.
She begged me to tell them that I had allowed the boy in. She begged me to tell them that I had allowed the boy into her room. I never said a word in her defense. Cahol threw her out of the house and told her to never come back. She ran out of here crying. I finally got rid of that little bitch for good! I know that it won’t be long now. Soon... I can feel it. I’ll be a vampire soon. It turned out that I didn’t need to do anything to her. She solved all of my problems for me. This is greatest day of my life. I am truly blessed!
December 14, 1984
No!!! Why ME?!
Just when life was starting to go back to normal around here… Just when Cahol was starting to hint at making me a vampire again with his stories… ME?!
I am still in shock… I can’t believe it; I don’t want to believe it… Aodac brought that little viper home last night! Why?
Aodac said that he found her in a back corner alley being whored out by some two bit creep pimp. He said he saw the guy beating on her like a common dog and he just lost it.
Personally, the guy was doing me a favor. I wish he had killed her before Aodac showed up.
Aodac said that he lost it when he saw what the guy was doing, and killed the guy the same way he killed that boy she was with a month ago. Then he brought her back "home". I still can’t believe it… why did he have to find her now? Why couldn’t he just turn his back and leave her to her fate?
Her time on the street didn’t do enough damage to her. She looks really bad. She doesn’t even look like the same person that was thrown out of here kicking and screaming a month ago. She’s covered in bruises… her face… her body… she is black and blue from the head down. She has belt marks on her back and stomach. Her wrists are covered in rope burns.
Aodac is blaming himself for what happened to her. He swears that he will do anything to make it up to her. He swears he will do anything to make it right. He’s still hovering over her. He refuses to leave her side even though she won’t let him in the room.
Cahol was indifferent to the entire thing, but I know he is concerned about her. I know how much he loves her. Cahol has this look in his eyes that I’ve never seen before… He looks like a wild animal. I know he is blaming himself for what happened to her. I know he is sitting in there beating himself up over this.
And, that isn’t everything… My God, could this get any worse? Now she is back in the house, and both of them are all over her again. It’s like the past year never happened! I don’t know what I’ll do now… I don’t know how to get them away from her after this… She’ll win!
She hasn’t said a word to anyone. She won’t come out of her room. She won’t let anybody into her room. She wont’ let anyone near her. She has refused to eat. Aodac hasn’t left the hallway outside her room since he brought her back. He was adamant when he refused to leave her be until the doctor gets here. He’s being absolutely stubborn about it. He insists that she needs to be seen by a doctor. He’s being so stupid.
Why couldn’t he just leave her to her fate? Why couldn’t he leave her there to die? Why did he have to bring her back? Why?
December 15, 1984
This is just great… The doctor just left. He said that she’s been beaten and raped for “quite a while”. What does that mean anyway, “quite a while”? "Quite a while" my ass... It's probably been going on since the night she was thrown out on her ass. The doctor also said that she would have been dead in another week if it had continued. He said that her body has started to shut down. He said that her organs are starting to fail. The doctor also said that she will recover with the proper medications and a lot of rest.
Curse Aodac for bringing her back here! I could have been rid of her for good. There wouldn’t have been anything left of her to fix. Just one more week and Aodac would have found a body. Why couldn't he have waited just one more week? Why did he have to go and forget what she did to make them throw her out in the first place? Why did he have to rescue her and bring her back? I will never understand this ridiculous code of honor that they live by…
The best part about this whole thing is that someone apparently knocked her up when they were raping her. The doctor said that she was in her second week. Thank God that Cahol has taken her to get an abortion, and good riddance to it. The last thing I need in my life is for her to have a brat of her very own. My God, I would never get rid of her then. There is no way they would ever throw her out again if she gave birth to a fucking baby brat. It’s better that she get rid of it now; it will save me the trouble of having to kill it myself later.
It’s funny… for the first time since they brought her here all those years ago, I think she is doing the right thing. I actually agree with her. How the hell did that happen?
January 20, 1985
It’s been over a month since Aodac brought here back here and that bitch still refuses to let anyone other than Cahol near her. What is that all about? She absolutely refuses to leave her room, and she is adamant about not letting anyone other than Cahol near her.
I have no idea what’s going on between them in there. Cahol refuses to talk about it. Cahol will barely tell us that she’s fine before he leaves to feed or sleep. Aodac is convinced that he’s sleeping with her. But, I really don’t believe it. Cahol is too full of honor to touch her after what she has just been through. I find it more likely to think that she wants to sit in the company of someone who hates her so much that she doesn’t have to talk to anyone, or deal with anyone fawning all over her, or trying to comfort her, or touch her in some way. Only God knows… I wouldn’t want to be around anyone either if I had gone through something like that. I would want to be left alone too.
There is something too convenient about this for her. I bet this is another one of her manipulations. I bet she only wants Cahol near her so that she can play on his sympathy for what she went through. I know that Cahol regrets the night that they threw her out. I know that he regrets the things he said to her. I know that he’s in there with her right now beating himself up over what she’s been through.
Eventually she is going wear Cahol down and his cold resolve to hate her will crack and he will speak to her again. Then it’s only a matter of time before he is civil to her again. Once that happens it’s inevitable that he will start showing her how much he loves her again. May God forbid that should happen. I don’t think I can stand this much longer, because it will work. She will break him, and eventually she will win. Damn it! She’ll win! I can’t let that happen; I just can’t!
October 3, 1985
This is ridiculous. It’s been almost a year and there is still no change in her. Cahol is still the only one that is permitted to see her, and Aodac has flipped his lid over it. He is completely livid. Aodac and Cahol have come to blows over it several times, and Cahol remains unmoved every time; he is adamant about no one entering her room. He refuses to talk about her other than to say that she is making “minimal progress” on the path to recovery from what happened to her.
I don’t even know what to believe anymore. I have tried to convince Cahol that he has to at least try to coax her out of her room for a few minutes but he evades answering me every time. If we can’t get her out of that damn room then how am I ever going to get her out of this house and out of my life for good?
I mean, come on… Seriously… It's been almost a year and she still isn’t over it yet?! Even I’m starting to get pissed off now, and Aodac and I can’t do a damn thing about it. Things cannot continue the way they are right now. This cannot continue forever. This shit has got to stop! I have got to get rid of her before I lose my mind!
November 21, 1985
This is just perfect! That little bitch finally came out of her room yesterday for all of about 10 whole minutes! She didn’t say more than two words the whole time and she adamantly refused to let anyone close enough to touch her in any way. Aodac tried to hug her. That is, until Cahol restrained him quite furiously. She ran back to her room shortly after that, and she hasn’t come back out.
I have to wonder how long it will be this time before she comes back out of that little hole in the wall.
Cahol reamed Aodac in and out, up and down, and then back again for being so selfish and stubborn about trying to hug her when he knew that she didn’t want to be touched by anyone, and then he ran after her and we haven’t seen him since.
I think Cahol is starting to fall in love with her again. In fact, I think that he's been in love with her forever, and he just won't admit to it. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. This entire house has turned upside down to accommodate her. How the hell did that happen? I think they need to slap her back into reality and make her face the world again. At least then I might have some small chance of getting rid of her.
December 28, 1985
Oh my God, stop the presses! The little bitch has finally emerged from her hidey hole. I was speechless when she came out of her room early this evening and actually apologized to Aodac and I for being so selfish and self centered. Then she hugged us both; I actually had to stand there and act all concerned about her and act like I cared about her. I almost puked. It made me sick to have to pretend that I care about that little whore. How could I ever care about her? She is the reason that I am not a vampire right now… She has taken that from me. It’s her fault. If it hadn’t have been for her then I would be a vampire right now! But, I will take it back from her. I will take the power she has over them away from her.
It’s funny to watch now. It’s funny to think of all of those months that Cahol spent protecting her from everyone that came within fifty feet of her, and he has already gone back to his distant and cold aloofness toward her. By some sick twist of a joke she has let Aodac return to climbing all over her, though she now has a glazed and somewhat reticent look in her eyes.
It’s sad, but in just three days everything has returned to the way it was before she got kicked out. It’s like the past year never happened. That was the final straw! I used to have two buddies who wanted to make me a vampire and now they are so wrapped up in their own little drama drama bullshit that they have completely forgotten I exist! What the fuck is that? What kind of brotherhood is that?
February 9, 1986
That little bitch whore has started openly flirting with Cahol every chance she can get. It’s kind of funny to watch the entire thing… She starts flirting with Cahol and Aodac gets agitated by it and drags her away from him every time he walks in on it.
The power struggle between Cahol and Aodac is the most entertaining part of the whole thing, especially when you consider the fact that the little bitch whore is going to be dead within a year.
I have finally solved my biggest problem.
I am simply going to kill her and be done with her once and for all! I have it all figured it out. I have started curing a unique blend of poisons together. I figure that it’s going to take about a year to bring it to a workable potency. She’ll be dead in twenty seconds after it hits her system. Nobody will ever know anything about how she really died because the poison will simply stop her heart. Everyone will assume she had a heart attack. I’ll finally be rid of the little bitch whore. I can hardly wait.
June 16, 1986
Aodac has gone missing. Nobody has seen him for 4 days. None of us can understand why he would just vanish without a word. Especially since Aodac is obsessed with that little bitch whore; why would he just leave her behind? If he seriously wanted to vanish so completely then why wouldn't he just take her with him, and save me the trouble of having to put up with her?
She has really become quite boring lately. She keeps asking Cahol and I when Aodac is going to come home when she knows damn well that no one here can tell her that... What’s the deal anyway? Why is she acting so concerned about Aodac? It’s not like she really cares about him one way or another… he’s just a tool to her to play his jealousy off of Cahol. Why would she care if he just vanished without a trace? She makes no sense to me.
Cahol on the other hand really is worried about him. We’ve spent hours searching for him the past couple of nights and we’ve had no luck. Cahol has even hired a Private Investigator to track down his trail during the day when he can't go out to search, but so far the guy hasn’t turned up anything either. I hope he comes back, if for no other reason that to get that little bitch whore out of here. Oh, why couldn’t he have just taken her with him?
June 28, 1986
We still haven’t had any luck trying to find Aodac. We have been searching for several weeks and we haven’t found any leads that would explain where he went to; now even that little bitch whore is starting to get worried.
We have begun to wonder if Aodac might be dead. Though, I have to wonder what could have killed him. What kills a vampire? How would he die unless someone knew what he was? God, I hope he's dead. I really do. Cahol would turn me into a vampire in two seconds if he knew that little sniveling emotionally dependant toad was dead. I’d be immortal before the next sun rise. God, please let him be dead!
July 23, 1986
This is just great! Aodac has finally come back. He said that the “vampire police” took him because he was getting careless in his vampire activities. He told us that, I think he called them “The Council”, had been watching him for some time and when he broke their cardinal rule a month ago they had to stop him.
I don't get it. What is the cardinal rule that he broke? He told me some years ago that he hated being a vampire, but why would he suddenly get careless? It makes no sense. Nothing these fucking people do makes any sense to me.
Aodac claims that The Council put him on trial for his life, and that when the verdict came back they decided his punishment should be to turn him back into a mortal. I don't get that either. How the fuck do you turn an immortal being back into a mortal? I thought it was a one way ticket. The whole point of immortality is supposed to be that they are in fact immortal. There is no turning back from that. Is there?
Cahol got very still and quiet when Aodac had told him what The Council had done. I can it in his eyes… He is already thinking about the ramifications of what’s happened and I just know that he is deciding something very important.
I think that he is deciding to turn me into a vampire. WooHoo! I am in! I just know it! Cahol is going to turn me any day now. I can feel it in the deepest recesses of my soul. I have won! I have finally beaten that bitch! Who knows…? I might not have to kill her now. Then again, I might just do it anyway. I should pay her back for all of the shit she has put me through since she showed up.
She has been such a bother to me since they brought her here all of those years ago. It would only be right for me to kill her. It would be justice to kill her; it would be justice to pay her back for all of the grief that she has caused me over the last few years. Oh, it would be so wonderful to watch her die. It will be the best day of my life when I see her dead and watch as those two fucking morons lose their precious little bitch whore. I can just imagine the pleasure it will bring me. Once I'm an immortal I will suck her dry one night when Cahol is gone and Aodac is asleep. I'll be long gone before Cahol gets back, and I'll never have to see any of these fucking idiots again.
July 24, 1986
My God! What has she done?! That fucking little bitch whore seduced Cahol last night! Cahol told us that he couldn’t continue to deny what he felt for her anymore. He said that he couldn’t stand being without her anymore. He said that he's loved her since they found her all of those years ago. How? She was a child then. How could he have loved her then when she was so young? And then to rub the salt into the wound he turned her last night after he had fucked her!
What the fuck am I gonna do now? I have no idea… How the fuck am I supposed to kill her now? How the fuck am I supposed to become a vampire now? Everything I have worked for is gone! My chances of ever being turned are gone! Cahol has made my poison completely useless against her and I have been completely cut out of that life! The son of a bitch will never turn me now! How could she? How could she seduce him last night? How could she do this to me? How could she finally win? How?
August 3, 1986
At last, I have finally solved all of my problems. I have finally worked out a plan to get rid of everyone and still become a vampire. I am going to kill the little bitch whore and frame Aodac for it. It sounds impossible even to me, and I am the one who thought of it; however I have figured the whole thing out. I’m going to hypnotize Aodac into thinking that he did it. He's mortal now. It shouldn’t be too difficult to control his mind through hypnosis. He will completely believe that he was the one that drove the stake through that little bitch whore's nonexistent heart and Cahol will absolutely know that he did it, because I’m going to leave Aodac’s imprint on the air when I kill her.
They have both told me numerous times that vampires have such superior senses… I figure that I can fool Cahol into believing that one person was near them when in fact another person was there altogether.
I will be right there whispering into Cahol’s ear after she’s dead, and I will be the only one left once he lashes out in anger and kills Aodac to avenge his precious little bitch whore. Cahol will be the one to turn me when everyone else is gone, and then I will kill him as he sleeps and I will finally get the fuck away from here forever. I will never look back. I will be the only one left. It’s perfect. I can’t fail. I will win… My ultimate victory over that little bitch is at hand.
August 27, 1986
My God, what have I done?! I couldn’t do it! I was right there standing over her with the stake right over her nonexistent heart, and I looked down at her face… I saw how happy she is, and I just couldn’t kill her! My God, even I love that little bitch whore! What have I done?!
I couldn’t drive the stake into her heart, so I drove it into the heart of her creator! Cahol is dead! God forgive me! I killed Cahol. I stood there and watched his body burn from the inside out and I panicked! I didn’t even realize what I had done until Cahol was already gone. What am I going to do? How will the little bitch whore react when she wakes up and sees that Cahol is dead? Will she fall for my ruse or will she kill me?
I think my plan will still work. I think she will fall for my ruse well enough. She will kill Aodac when she confronts him with what she thinks he did. I don’t think it will be too difficult to manipulate her into turning me into a vampire. She has no idea how much I hate her, love her, I mean hate her. She will turn me into a vampire and then I will be free to get away from this living hell! She will be completely alone! My victory over her will be absolute!
I did manage to hypnotize Aodac into believing that he was going to kill her, and in a moment of weakness he killed Cahol instead. It’s still perfect. Francesca will kill him in retaliation for what he did to Cahol and I will win eternity! I have made sure that Aodac will not remember anything from our little conversation tonight!
I have almost won! Soon I will have everything I have ever wanted… so soon I can taste it… eternity is within my grasp and I will embrace it with everything in me. I will embrace it just as I want to embrace her…
September 18, 1986
What is going on around here? I just want to scream! My plan isn’t working! Neither of them has acknowledged that they know anything! In fact, it’s just the opposite! They are closer than ever! Where did I go wrong? My plan was absolutely perfect!
Aodac should be dead by now! That little bitch whore should be grieving the loss of her true love, and she should be turning to me for love and comfort!
She should be all over me by now! She should be whispering her slutty little words into my ear as I pretend to fall madly in love with her. She should be getting ready to turn me into a vampire any day now. I don’t get it… Where did it all go wrong?
She is all over Aodac instead of killing him. She is crawling all over him instead of me! She is turning to him for love and comfort over the loss of her lover instead of me! I am going insane! Why?! Did I misplan somehow? Did I make a mistake somewhere? What went wrong?
I don’t know… damnit, I don’t know! And, all I can do is wait! I hate waiting! Damnit, why hasn’t she kill him?
October 5, 1986
I can’t believe this! Why me? Why did she turn Aodac last night?! Why didn’t she kill him? She is nowhere to be found! I can’t believe this! That fucking little bitch whore left me! Look at what she’s done to us… Cahol… Aodac… my brothers…
The first whore you fuckers found on the streets, and she has completely destroyed us! How could you let her? How could you two just let her break us down and tear us up inside and not stop it?! Why?
I warned them that this was going to happen! I warned them of what she would do to us when they first brought her here! They refused to listen to me! Why didn’t they listen? Why did they have to keep that little bitch whore for a pet! If they had wanted a pet so badly then why didn’t they buy a damn puppy?! Why did they have to go and find some little bitch whore and bring her here instead?
I can’t believe this! The first damn whore they find on the streets! That’s what she is… The First Whore!
The Whore of Babylon!
I fucking hate her!
July 22, 1987
There has been no word from her in all of this time. Where has she gone? She couldn’t just vanish into thin air, could she? The private investigators we hired managed to track her to Cairo. I remember Cahol talking about Cairo years ago. Aodac told me that Cahol had always said that if he ever died he had wanted to be taken back to Cairo so that his final resting place would be in his human home. So we kind of figured that she took him back there to honor his last request. However, the investigators we hired lost her trail in Cairo and they haven’t been able to find her again.
Aodac claims to know where she is. He said that he is going to find her and kill her. He even agreed to take me with him when he left, but he lied. He was gone when I woke up this morning. He left a note on the door that said goodbye and a check for two million dollars in it.
How could they do this to me? They promised to make me a vampire all of those years ago and then they refused to do it when she came along and stole them from, and now Aodac slaps me in the face with blood money to buy my silence!
That no good son of a bitch! I would kill them both where they stood if I had any idea where they went to!
How dare they leave me like this! How dare they take away what they promised me! How dare they steal immortality from me!
I swear by my life… I will find them!
I will find them and kill them both!
I will never stop searching for them. I will never give up! I will have my revenge! I will have my immortality!
I swear by the grace of God that I will have my immortality! They will not get away with this! I won’t let them! Immortality will be mine! Mine!
August 10, 1987
That no good bastard! Aodac covered his tracks well when he went to find her. The investigators haven’t been able to find one piece of his shadow trail to wherever he went to. He has completely vanished! I keep hoping that one of them will come back so that I can kill them.
I have thought about trying to track down this all powerful vampire force that Cahol and Aodac spoke of… The Council. I am sure they would turn me into a vampire if they knew that I knew what they are. They wouldn’t have a choice. They would have to turn me into a vampire to keep me quiet about what they are, wouldn’t they?
The only problem with that idea is that I can’t seem to find them. It’s like they don’t exist… but they have to exist… They turned Aodac back into a mortal. If they didn’t do that, then who did?
I need to keep searching for them. I just know that I will find them eventually, but I have waited for years already. How much longer do I have to wait until it’s my time to be immortal?
I should already be a vampire right now…
If it weren’t for their little pet whore I would already be a vampire! She is the cause of all of my suffering!
November 24, 1987
I have begun to fear that my investigators will never find any information that will lead me to Aodac and his pet whore. The days drag by without any news. The weeks bring nothing concrete that might lead me to them.
Why have they done this to me? Why did they leave me here to rot on my own?
Why did Aodac abandon me… his own brother?
Why did she leave me… I love her?
I shouldn’t say that. I should hate her with every ounce of emotion within me. I should hate her to the depths of my soul for what she has stolen from me…
But, I loved her. I loved her so much that I couldn’t kill her, and it has cost me everything I have ever wanted. I should have killed her. I should have been strong enough to hate her when I needed that hatred the most, and I should have been able to drive that fucking stake right into her black heart. I just couldn’t do it!
Why am I so weak? Why do I still love her?
Why does every woman have her face?
Why am I haunted by her in my dreams?
Why do I see her shadow everywhere I go?
Why won’t she leave me alone already?
She has taken everything from me and still I want her…
She should have been mine. Immortality should have been mine. My brothers should still be here with me.
Why did they leave me?
Why didn’t they love me as I love them?
January 2, 1988
I have begun to think that The Council was a figment of their imaginations. I have searched for this Council for months and I have found nothing. If they really do monitor vampire activities then why haven’t they come to find out what deranged vampire is killing off the rich bitch snots in the city?
My activities haven’t been easy. It takes a great deal of manipulation to get into the same area as these upper wannabe aristocrats so that I can kill them in the way a vampire kills when he feeds.
I had hoped to draw the Council out. I had hoped to tell them that I know what they are and what I want for my silence. I had hoped to get them to make me a vampire, but I can’t find them. I am going insane!
God, why have I been forsaken?
Why have I been left to suffer alone?
March 15, 1988
They have completely vanished. They have left no trace for my investigators to follow.
I had the chance to kill her and I couldn’t do it! She should be dead right now! I should be a vampire, but I’m not.
My weakness is my burden.
She is my burden.
I would be immortal if it hadn’t been for them bringing her home one night.
She would be dead if it weren’t for one fatal moment of weakness.
Hate became love only to return to hate.
July 31, 1989
It’s been two years… two years since Aodac left to follow that little bitch whore! My investigators were never able to find any leads that would shed light on the mystery of where they vanished to.
Both of them have simply vanished from the face of the earth! What the fuck? How does someone just completely vanish off the face of the earth?
Damn, damn, damn, and damn! Damnit all to hell! I want nothing more than to kill them! I want nothing more than for them to suffer. I have imagined driving the fucking stakes so far into their hearts that they get nailed to the fucking ground. I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!
They are the burden in my soul. They are the twisted memory that haunts me every night and keeps me awake in agony. I know I will never find them. I know they are lost to me forever… she is lost to me forever.
My God, I am so fucking stupid! I can’t believe that I was the biggest sentimentalist moron of all! If only I had just killed her when I had the chance… If I had just kept my eyes shut tight and driven the sake right through that fucking little bitch whore’s heart then Cahol would still be around! I know that he would have killed Aodac for what he thought Aodac had done and he would have turned me into a vampire that very night!
I hate her… I hate her for the love I felt for her!
I hate her for that moment of weakness that saved her fucking life.
I hate her for my moment of weakness!
I Hate HER!………