I put Cahol’s skeleton in a coffin the day after he was murdered. He had waited patiently for his final request to be carried out. The time had finally come to take his body to Egypt. It was my duty to fulfill his final request and return him to his home land for burial. I didn’t want to take him there. I hated the idea of putting him in the ground; it made his death a reality instead of a bad nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. He had told me once years ago when I was still young that if he died he wanted to go home for eternity. The time had come to fulfill that promise; Egypt is where he would stay forever. This final act of love was all I could give him. I wept bitter tears once more as I laid his charred body into the ground forever. I thought my nightmare was over once I had exacted his vengeance and laid him to rest. I thought I would finally be free to be alone and mourn a love that was stolen from me in isolation and solitude forever.
I traveled to Scotland with that thought in mind. I had always wanted to go to Scotland; there was something about that ancient land that had always appealed to me. I thought there I could be alone, and isolated from the world. I used the money Cahol had left me as an inheritance to build a home for myself on steep cliffs that overlooked the ocean. Cahol had set that inheritance up when I was still a child; I think that he figured that one day he would have to fake his death, and he did not want to leave me with nothing when he did. Ah, my darling Cahol who loved me from afar for so many years. How would I ever continue without him?
I stayed in a quaint little bed and breakfast for months while my new home was being built. I saw many sights in Scotland during this time, but Scotland’s sheer beauty, mystery and wonder held no wonder or interest for me anymore. I was desolate inside. Lonely. Terribly lonely. It was as if my heart had been ripped from my chest and I continued to live even though I was dead. I knew that once I was finally able to move into my new home I would happy within its walls, or at least as happy as it was possible for me to be. But alas, my happiness didn’t last. Just my existence was forbidden and fate had decided to target me. Nothing good could ever last for me. I was cursed.
Aodac Mendu stood over my bed one utterly black night only two short months after moving into my new home. The night was void of light; it was a new moon outside and the stars were buried behind layers and matted sheets of clouds. If it weren’t for street lights, people would have been buried in darkness knocking into each other all night. I didn’t have outside lights installed on my estate when it was built. There were none within ten miles of my home.
I looked up into Aodac’s hateful eyes, and I smiled. I was truly happy to see him. My anger at him had dissipated as I wandered through the rough countryside of Scotland. I thought that now I wouldn’t have to mourn by myself. I thought that I could have my friend back, and maybe I could lean on him, cry on his shoulder.
“How long have you been here?” I asked, truly curious.
“Almost a month.” He said in a clipped tone.
“No, I don’t mean in Scotland. I mean, standing over my bed waiting for me to wake up.”
“About two hours.” His voice was angry now, cut and clipped.
“Oh.” I got up and stood in front of him. I sensed that he wanted to strangle me, beat me, even kill me, but he didn’t when he had the chance. That told me that he couldn’t even if he wanted to. I put my arms around him and hugged him burying my face into his chest. I cried on his shoulder forever. I cried for the loss of Cahol, for the loss of my friendship with Aodac, and for the loss of my sweet innocence, which I had cherished above all. He tried to pull away, but I held fast with my vampire’s grip. I reached up and kissed him full on the lips. I knew what he would do and he did. He kissed me back, long and hard. Every last second of his longing and desire for me was poured out into that kiss. Aodac reached his arms up from my waist to my breasts. I knew what was coming and I wanted it. I wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything before. I tore his shirt off of his body, kissed his chest, and licked his nipples. I yanked his pants off of his body. He pulled my dark purple negligee off of me, by releasing the straps from my shoulders and letting it slide down my body, revealing inch by inch my creamy white skin, and he kissed me inch by inch as my skin was revealed. He picked me up, and carried me to my bed. He gently set me down, so that he could take in the wondrous sight of his coveted Francesca, with her golden spun hair, and pacific blue eyes. The woman whom he thought was stolen from him by Cahol, and he killed him for it. We were past that now, and this was Aodac’s dream and fantasies come true. He had wanted me so badly and now he had finally gotten me. He poured every last second and every last heartbeat of longing into our love making that night. He seduced me easily and rhythmically in all of the ways that I’m sure he dreamed of doing many nights prior to that. It was perfect. I was perfect. Our love making was perfect. We were perfect.
Things went on this way for the better part of six months. I had questions that I burned to ask Aodac, but I didn’t ask them because I didn’t want to spark the anger and hatred that I had seen that first night. There were things in my mind that kept festering and my mind created the worst answers imaginable. I was driving myself crazy. I knew that I had to ask the questions burning holes through my mind. They were eating away at me like some rabid black cancer, and they were smothering me inside. I went straight up to Aodac and asked him hesitantly but bluntly, “Why did you kill Cahol? What drove you to such depths that you had to kill the man I loved and your best friend?”
The blood swelled in his cheeks almost instantly turning his face a ruby, crimson red. His eyes grew dark and stormy; his mouth became a taunt, thin line on his face. “What makes you ask that? I thought we were passed it, Francesca. Why do you want to know now after all of this time?”
“Because, it’s killing me inside!” I said a bit melodramatically.
His face became even more drawn than it was. “You drove me to it.” He said in a deathly quiet voice. “My wanting… my longing… my suffering… my lust for you all drove me to eliminate the competition and steal you for myself, but you didn’t play the game right for a long time. You pushed me away and you turned me back into this thing. It was only after I followed you here that you decided to play nice. Do you feel better now? Is that what you wanted to know?” He spat at me with unleashed hatred and contempt in his voice.
I think I was in a stupor. “I-I’m the re-reason Cahol d-died?” I was in disbelief. That couldn’t be true, could it? I thought to myself.
“Yes, baby. You are the reason your darling, precious Cahol died.” He spat with scornful contempt.
“Th-th-thank y-you for fi-finally t-telling me the truth.” I said as I turned away from him and left the room. I left to think things through. I needed to weigh things out in my head.
Knowing I was the reason that Cahol died drove me a little crazy. I changed, and not for the better. I became bitter toward myself. I grew to hate myself. I couldn’t live with it. I tried to kill myself several times and each time Aodac was there to stop me. He pulled me inside only seconds before the sun touched my skin several times. Each time he berated me like a child for being so careless and thoughtless. He berated me for wanting to die. It killed me inside to know that all of this was my fault.
I turned bitter toward Aodac as well for telling me the one thing that would destroy me. He knew the effect his words would have on me and he told me anyway. I turned distant toward him, unattached. He was like a casual acquaintance of mine that I had meet years ago and no longer knew, but beneath the surface there was an ocean of venom boiling to the brink every day. I despised him. I despised everything about him. I despised his body, his mind, his twisted soul, his touch. Most of all, I think I despised myself because I kept sleeping with him. His suppressed anger toward me started to resurface as I grew even more distant and aloof. He started to hate me all over again, and I didn’t give a damn. Our relationship turned acrimonious all too soon, and he moved out of my house. I withdrew into my own private world and I drove myself mad in that prison. I could have potentially cracked at any second. The only thing that prevented it was my loathing of myself and my hatred for Aodac over what he had done to Cahol.
All that I could think about was killing Aodac, but my revenge plans were my downfall. The more I plotted against Aodac, which was all of the time, the more obsessed I became. The more obsessed I became, the further I retreated into the deeper recesses of my mind.
I tortured myself endlessly with the knowledge that if I had just kept my hands off of Cahol he would still be here and it’s possible I would be talking to him right now rather than talking about how he died. Cahol had deserved better than me, and he deserved better than Aodac for a “friend”. We both killed him. I killed him with my lust for him; Aodac’s killed him with his jealousy. I deserved to die after having caused the death of the one person I had loved above all. I decided that I would kill myself once I took care of Aodac and I would be with Cahol once again, only this time I would be with him for eternity.