A Dream, A Curse
A Wish

Once upon a time
I meet you.
I dreamed of something
Far beyond my reach,
And you showed me that it was true.
I could have what I desired,
Because you would give it to me.
You would see me happy,
Even if it meant you never were.
I never asked for that kind of devotion.
I never asked for that kind of dedication.
How can I repay you?
How can I give you all I have?
How can I give you all of me,
When I don't even know me?

People tell me I am wonderful.
People say I am grand.
I don't see it.
All I see is a fucked up girl,
With a fucked up life.
A girl who has made a mess of things,
And is now trying to fix them.

No one sees the truth,
It is so obvious.
No one sees the suffering,
No one sees the pain.
Living in this world isn't easy,
Sometimes it is cruel.
I have wondered for many years,
Here, there, everywhere, and nowhere.

How did I find you,
A little piece of calm,
In the insanity I call my life?
How did I ever manage to let you in,
And show you all I am inside?
Why is it from you I do not hide?

Once a long time ago,
I sent out a dream for Mr. Right,
Not knowing if it would ever be answered.
Then a few months ago,
I meet you,
And I knew it was real.
I knew my Mr. Right had finally come.
I knew there would finally be someone there to hold me,
Someone there who cares.
I knew I would never again be alone,
And never have to cry myself asleep again.
I knew that the heartache was over.
I knew that one day the pain would be erased.
I knew that one day I would forget all of the bad memories,
And I would no longer have a reason to remember them.

I know now that I was right.
You are the one that can make my dreams come true.
You are the one that I have dreamt of for years before.
You are the one I need more than life itself.
You are the dream that completes my life.
You are the inspiration I have been searching for years to find.
You give meaning to my life,
In more ways than you will ever think of.

I have found you,
Your touch,
Your kiss,
Your love.
I don't deserve them,
I don't deserve the love you show me.
I don't deserve the life you have given me.
I don't even know how to say thank you.
But I try everyday.
I will try everyday you give me with you.

I love you so much,
I fear to lose you more than anything else in this world.
I don't know what would happen the day you leave me.
I fear to find out.
I fear the day I can no longer call you mine,
And be with you for the rest of my life.
I fear the day you walk out the door,
Tired of my bullshit,
Sick of my fucked up life.
I fear the day I have to say good-bye,
And watch you walk away.
You are everything I love in this world.
Everything I care about in this life.
Let me give you all of me,
Till the end of our time together.

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