A Tear

Thoughts of pain run through my mind.
Thoughts of hell crash inside.
I live in hell.
The hell I made for myself.
The hell I cannot leave.
Thoughts of you sooth me.
Bring me peace through the hard days.
Hearing your voice calms me,
Till there is nothing left inside.
Seeing you is the goal I try to achieve.
Being with you is all I want.
My hell never ends.
Each time I see you,
I must say good-bye.
Each time I talk to you,
I must let you go.
Each time you hold me,
I know it will not be forever.

I have let so much go,
Given so much to you.
You have filled me up,
Erased all that was bad inside me.
You make me better than I am.
Just by loving me.
You make me want to be better for you.
You are all I dream about.
All I need.
When can I finally have you,
And not have to leave?
The thought of leaving makes me cry.
The thought of losing you makes me weak.
I cannot be without you.
I am attached to you.
As you warned me I would be.

The thought of coming back to this hell,
Is nothing more than a torturous thing.
The thought of living in this place another minute,
Is nothing more than condemning me to death.
The thought of being without you,
Is the worst pain I have ever known.

I live, yes.
I survive without you.
But there is nothing but pain inside.
It eats at me,
Like a cancer that engulfs you till you die.
It burns in me,
Like the eternal flame that never dwindles and fades.
One day I hope it will all go away.
One day I hope to be with you,
And not have to say good-bye.

You are the thought that carries me through.
You are the dream I try to find.
You are the love I have searched for my entire life.
And one day, I will know you forever.

That day cannot come fast enough.
That dream cannot be reached yet.
I want it so bad,
See it in my mind so often.
It is all I know.
All I want.
All I need.
It all comes down to one thing,
I need you.
And one day,
I wonít have to think that this time is the last time.

One day my heartís desire will be reached.
And I will be whole.
Until that day comes,
I will remember the thoughts of pain,
Remember my hell,
Remember everything I have made for myself.
Until that day comes,
All I know,
Is a tear.

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